4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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