At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Randomize