i just google imaged poop.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
