don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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