So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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