Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize