Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
