i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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