____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
