I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
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I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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