remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize