i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
