Three words: puerto rican gang bang
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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