Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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