So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
