Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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