dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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