So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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