dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
the liver wants what the liver wants
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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