morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
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He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
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I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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