I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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