He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
