wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
