If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
