We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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