She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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