I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
