I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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