No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
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