So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
