Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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