her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
