loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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