Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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