god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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