sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
