His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
