i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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