He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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