Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
