when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
