When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize