i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize