did you get engaged???
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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