weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
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I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
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I can't put those talents on a resume
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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