Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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