You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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