I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
