Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
