i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
