Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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