i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
