I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
