i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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