Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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