Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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