last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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