Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
