Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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